www.DiscGolfersR.Us

The Community of Disc Golfers and About All Things Disc Golf

Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

Views: 1140

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

"So after another less then enjoyable morning dealing with the public,lunch time rolled around.Punched the clock,grabbed the lunch sack,sat down and asked another fellow dger if he had watched any of the "live" Discraft Memorial yesterday.
..no was the answer and proceeded to enlighten him on what had gone down in Arizona."So,as I mentioned about this disc went that way and another the opposite way,someone coming in on the middle of the conversation and only hearing how a "disc"went out...mentioned they knew of a good chiropractor for my "disc "problem.Guess ya had to be there,but we had a good laugh anyway.
this is a brian delima joke " Why did God create golf ? so haoles could dress up like filipinos ."
oops its Frank delima . ( could not edit )
"I bet you throw 150 class"
My uncle sent me this.... Not so much Disc Golf, per se, but still fun...

HEART WARMING GOLF STORY

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of bitches."
...Hahahaha,"out lived 'em"needed a good laugh today.>}
A guy stood over the tee pad for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving the group nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long ?" "Throw the damned disc already !"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the basket. I want to make this a perfect shot."

The frustrated partner shouted back "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
Therre was a young man who wanted to get a quick 18 holes of disc golf in prior to going to work. He got there early, stretched and was about to tee off when a 100 year old man walked up and asked to join him. Not being rude, the young man agreed to play together.

Basket after basket the old man threw, not far given his age, but he kept up with the young man. On the 18th tee, the young man landed right behind a huge tree. No matter what stance the young man used he could find a clear shot to the basket. The old man approached him and said, "When I was your age, I threw over the tree and landed right in the basket".

The young man said what the heck, and attempted to Tomahawk the disc over the tree. His disc hit the tree and landed back in the same spot. Frustrated, the young man yelled, "There was no way in hell you could have thrown over this tree". The old man smiled and replied, "When I was your age, the tree was only ten feet tall."
Keep 'em comin', Victor!
It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 AM, on the first hole of a busy Disc Golf Tournament.
I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came from
a traveling T.D. "Would the gentleman on the women's tee please back up to the men's tee, please"

I could feel every eye on the course looking at me.
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement: "Would the man on the women's tee please back up to the men's tee, please!"

I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more the man yelled,
"Would the man on the women's tee please back up to the men's tee, please!"

I finally stopped, turned, threw my hands up in the air and shouted back....
"Would the asshole with the microphone kindly keep quiet and let me throw my second shot !"
Second shot... i've had my fair share of those days...
The three worst words in disc golf,your still up.lol

Reply to Discussion

RSS

Blog Posts

2014 ACE RACE PLAYER PACKS ?

Posted by James Banevicz on November 23, 2014 at 4:41pm

Disc Golf Approach Shot Tips by Paul Ulibarri

Posted by Alan Barker on October 30, 2014 at 12:40pm

State of Disc Golf: Disc Golf Growth

Posted by Alan Barker on January 29, 2014 at 2:26pm

What are your favorite Disc Plastics?

Posted by Alan Barker on November 4, 2013 at 1:38pm

2 Tips For Guys To Entice A Girls

Posted by Frederick Cranford on September 11, 2013 at 5:42am

Badge

Loading…
 

© 2014   Created by Terry "the Pirate" Calhoun.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

SF00401968