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Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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Hahahahaha,wondered who the wedding crasher was back in the day.Good thing she's made all the decisions;>}

See ya on the fairway Wilbur

I'm still alive!!

I have a list of jokes that I have entered their names.  Guess what ??  You were included in my jokes.  Will you die off or what ??  Wait and see......

I didnt see me. . . I will have to go back and look. please dont kill me.

Henry Reid (aka The Menance) from Tuscawilla in Daytona just got through playing 18 holes of disc golf and was extremely thirsty.  He saw a group of "fellas" drinking and asked if he could have one.

The leader of the group says “Ya’ you can have a drink.  But you first have to tell us the name of your penis.” 

“What are you talking about? The name of my penis?” inquired The Menance .

The leader shares the information

“You see this guy, the name for his penis is M&M, it melts in your mouth and not in you hands”

“This guy, his name is Energizer, it keeps going and going and going.”,

“This guy, his name is McDonalds, over a billion served”,

"And this guy named his Chevy.  You know Like a Rock"

“So what is the name of yours?”

Henry thinks for a moment and exclaims “Secret!!”

“What do you mean Secret?” the leader asks.

“You know, Strong enough for a man but made for a woman”

I meant to say.  I have a list of jokes on my computer that I have replaced names with Disc Golfers names.  And you were on my list.  In fact I had just placed it.  You can find it on page six.  I am slowly working my way through the list.  That way there should be something to read on a regular basis.

I heard rumors about the Rock Springs Ridge Disc Golf Course.  They have an 18 hole Championship course, 18 hole Executive course, driving & putting greens, a bar & restaurant.  The great thing about this course is that they are bringing class to the sport.  They have "green fees".  They have a dress code and code of conduct.  In fact, they even want to be polictically correct.  Instead of saying that their Disc Golfers have a "Handicap", they will say that they are "Stroke Challenged"

 

All joking aside.  On a serious note.  I have not been there yet but I have heard nothing but good things.  I can't wait to play.  I wish this new club all the best and truely hope that you can bring some class into this sport. 

THAT is FUNNY!!!
I usaully read the Obits to see if my name appears or if anyone I happen to know has passed.Now I just read the "Humor" page here for all the names that will be listed,So far,only JamieRoc has passed,print only.So perhaps there should be a name replacement,Instead of "Obits"..."Discbits" should be the  "Nom de Plume";>}

So our eldest dauhgter and her husband visted us from Cinncy,disc golf /beach were the two options that were presented.I figuered that we accomplish this outing in an all one stop.All involed wondered how and what fun would this be for them.The son-in-law being from Indiana had never yet seen a gator,shark,sharks teeth,sting ray on any previous visits.Packed the car with disc bag,beer bag,lotion,beach chairs,blanket and proceeded to the nearest pitch/putt ball course in town.

Everyone wondered just what the H---? is dad,Ed doing now,how is this fun AND how will we see any of those names mentioned earlier here on a b course.Told them to go sit in the nearest sand trap by a water hole.They begrudgingly set off,threw my sting ray & Shark in the water,gator on the bank of water hole and spread all the rest in the sand trap.Smiles and opened some beers to drink,but yet there was still the problem of no sharks teeth.problem solved when  I opened the baggie and scattered the teeth in the sand.Enjoy yoyr beach outting,I'm going to throw the next eight holes.That's why I'm not in charge of the minor decisions,just thermajor ones;>}

Jason Peliwo from Debary Disc Golf and his wife went to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into the office alone.

He said, "Your husband Jason is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him."

"Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs."

"Encourage him to participate in more Disc Golf.  Do not nag him about playing Disc Golf with his buddies.  And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health."

On the way home, Jason asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

Mark Ellis was teaching some students about Disc Golf.  Towards the end of the class the majority of the students asked him to demonstrate his skills by playing one hole.  Mr Ellis set up for his drive on the first tee and did a mighty throw.  Unluckily his disc flew into a group of palmettos.  He found his disc and saw an opening between two dead trees he thought he could throw through. He took another mighty throw and his disc hit one of the dead trees, the tree fell and hit him on the head instantly killing him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, he saw St. Peter laughing his ass off. 

Puzzled, Mark asked, "Why are you laughing at me?"
St. Peter stated "I guess you are not really good at Disc Golf"


To which Mark quickly replied, "Got here in two, didn't I ?"

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