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Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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Two men were out playing a round, the 1st guy asks the other for a light, sure he says and reaches in his bag and pulls out a huge lighter. "That's the biggest lighter I've ever seen! Where did you get it?" "I got it from my genie." "Your genie?? No way." So he tells him to pull that jack daniels bottle out of his bag and rub it. He pulls out the bottle and gives it a rub....There's a puff of smoke and this ancient genie pops out. "Since you released me from the bottle I will grant your wish." Great! I want a million bucks! The sky gets dark and suddenly the course is covered with ducks. "Ducks! I asked for a million bucks!" the other guys says," that genie is old and kind of deaf, you don't really think i asked for a twelve inch Bic do you."
what do you call a DGer on the side of a cliff ? a fool    what do you call a DGer on the side of the same cliff a second time ? a slow learner

Brian J. Swift from Edgewater Florida went to play at Tuskawilla when he was asked by his friend,

 

"Why are you so late in arriving for your tee time?"


Brian replied, "It's Sunday. I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf."

"Yes," continued the friend, "but that stills doesn't tell me why you are so late."

 
"Well," said Brian "It took over 25 tosses to get it right!"

A murder has been committed at the Bill Frederick Disc Golf Park in Florida.
The Police were called to the park and they found a man standing at the seventh basket, holding a Disc in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the floor.

The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that Golf Disc?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The man stifles a sob, drops the Disc, and puts his hands on his head.

"How many times did you hit her in the throat?"

 

"I don't know.
Five, six, seven..... Just put me down for a five."

morbid sense of Humor sometimes,why not a 4;>}

David Keisner, Chris Suggs, and Harold King died went to heaven.
Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful Disc Golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter told them they were welcome to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule: "Don't step on the ducks."

The men had blank expressions on their faces, and finally Chris Suggs asked, "The ducks?"
"Yes," St. Peter Said. "There are millions of ducks walking around the course, and when one of them is stepped on, he squawks, and then the one next to him squawks, and soon they're all raising hell and it really breaks the tranquility. If you step on the ducks, you'll be punished."

The men start playing the course, and within 15 minutes, Chris Suggs stepped on a duck. The duck squawked, and soon there was a deafening roar of ducks quacking.
St. Peter appeared with an extremely homely woman and asked, "Who stepped on a duck?"
"I did," admitted Chris. St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the homely woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The two other men were very cautious not to step on any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, Harold King accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within minutes, St. Peter walked up with a woman who was even uglier than the other one. He determined who stepped on the duck by seeing the fear in Harold’s face, and he cuffed him to the woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," St. Peter said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

David was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of nudging a duck. After three months of this, he still hadn't stepped on a duck. St. Peter walked up to David and had with him the most beautiful woman David had ever seen. St. Peter smiled and without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

David Keisner, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said, "What have I done to deserve this?"
The woman replied: "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

I took my wife out Disc Golfing last Sunday at the Tuskawilla Course in Daytona Beach.  The was another female named Valerie Mullikin there as well.  The two ended up playing in the same group.  Upon finishing the round, the two returned and they had smiles on their faces.

Valerie stated that my wife Pattie had thrown after she did and had thrown her disc on top of hers.  They both came up and stated that their discs were "Making minis".

Tom Johnson from Tuskawilla Disc Golf Course in Daytona Beach Florida had won a C.T.P. during their 3rd Sunday of the month tournament.  The prize was in an envelope.

When he opened the envelope, he was very surprised to find a voucher for a free visit to a brothel. He had never been to one before but he decided to go the very next day.

The girls were very friendly and soon he found a lovely young lady and went with her to her room.

Ten minutes later, she came running to the Madam and asked,

"Can you tell me what a Mulligan is ?"

 

 

 

Saw this on another DG site.... Too True.

Prior to Jamie Ruane passing away he had brought a couple of disc golfing buddies together, and gave them each $500 cash and instructed them that upon his death, they were to throw it into the coffin along with Jamie’s favorite discs, because he wanted to take the important things with him.

In my previous discussion write up Jamie ended up passing away. When the funeral was over, his buddies met at the Tuskawilla Course for a personal remembrance.
Matthew Monczka said "I have a confession to make. I put in an empty envelope in Jamie’s coffin and I used the money to buy some Disc Golf equipment."
Terry Aka "Shorty" said "Me too, only I used the money to have a private party in Jamie’s name."
Somewhat shocked, Terry "the Pirate" Calhoun said
"I can't believe you guys went back on your word."
They asked him if he actually put the $500 in the coffin.
He replied "I most certainly did....with my very own personal check."

It's Tuscawilla...dammit!!   That's right...back from the dead!!

Typo ???  I apologize to all the Tuscawilla members.  "Back from the dead !!"......................

Not yet.  Not until I say so. 

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