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Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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Two men were playing disc golf one day at their local course. One of the guys is about to toss his disc into the basket when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-throw, takes off his beannie, closes his eyes, and bows his head down in prayer.

When the Procession passes his friend says:
"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies:
"Yeah, well..... We were married for 40 years. It's the least I can do"
Hahahaha,second shot,been there,wait a minute,think I still am
At a disc course, a new member insulted the best golfer at the club by accident.

The Better golfer challenged him to one game of golf and offered $50.00 to the guy if he won.

The new member says, "Alright, I'll accept, but only on one condition...you have to let me get two Gotcha's during the game."
Not knowing what a 'Gotcha' was, and not really caring, he accepted the terms.

So the new guy and the old pro go out to the first tee pad, the new guy throws and makes a fairly good shot. The pro then steps up confidently, grips his disc, starts approach, and the new guy runs up, grabs his balls and yells, "Gotcha!"

The disc goes far to the left and the pro, angry and embarrassed stomps off after it.

Several hours go by and the two competitors return to their cars after their round of golf and the other members watch the old pro take out his wallet and hand the new guy the promised $50.00.

The pro then walks furiously over to his friends. The others ask him how he lost and he replies, "Let’s see you play a good game while waiting for the second 'Gotcha'!"
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a Disc Golf match."

The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a disc in his life.

"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "We'll call America and talk to Gregg Hosfeld. We'll make him a Cardinal, and he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Gregg was honored and agreed to play.

The day after the match, Gregg reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match.
"I came in second, your Holiness," said Gregg.

"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"

"No," Gregg replied, "Second to Rabbi Climo."
to funny . i like this thread !
I bow to thee Victor E, that was funny as sh*#. Rabbi Climo....ahahahahaha!
Right now, this is the best thread on here! I say nice play, sir. Nice play.
Father O’Malley was hearing confession one day when a young Nun stepped into the confessional. Sister Mary began with “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I took the Lord’s name in vain.”
Now the Priest was take aback for he knew that Sister Mary was one of the most reserve and devout nun in the local convent. “Tell me, my child how did this come to pass?”
“Well Father I was playing in a foursome of sisters who are disc golfers in a tournament and when I got to the 18th hole I was one stroke behind Sister Margaret of Our Lady of Arrogance convent. Now hole 18 is a long par 4 about 550’ with a stand of trees right in front of the hole. Sister Margaret tee off first and launched an amazing 400’ drive to leave her with an open approach to the green for an easy birdie or par.”
The priest asked “is this when you took our Lord’s name in vain, sister?”
“No Father, I came to the line and I’ll admit I was nervous, because my longest drive ever was around 300’ but I screwed up my courage and put all I had in to the throw. I shanked the shot into the woods to the right of the fairway.
The priest asked “is this when you swore sister?”
“No Father, my disc bounced off the top of a tree and came out of the trees rolling all the way to the green and stopped within 5’ of the hole. Sister Margaret then made an approach shot to within 15’ of the hole and putted for birdie”

“Don’t tell me you missed the G## D### putt sister!”
The Disc Golf Prayer



The Pro is my Shepherd, I shall not Slice.

He maketh me to Drive Straight Down Green Fairways;

He leadeth me Safely across Still Water-Hazards;

He restoreth my Approach Shots.

He Leadeth me in the Paths of Accuracy for my Game's Sake.

Yea, though I throw through the Roughs in the shadows of Palmetto,

I will fear no Bogies. For his Advice is with me;

His Discraft and Innovas, they comfort me.

He prepareth my Strategy for me in the presence of mine Opponents;

He anointeth my head with Confidence:

The Basket will not be runneth over!

Surely Birdies and Aces shall follow me all the Rounds of my Life,

And I will score in the Low Fifties

Amen
NICE !
A priest rushed from church one day to keep a Disc date.
He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to throw his second shot,
when he heard "Fore!" and another disc slammed into his back.

Soon, the golfer who had made the drive was on the scene to offer his apologies.
When the priest assured him that he was all right, the man smiled.

"Thank goodness, Father!" he exclaimed.
"I've been playing this game for forty years, and now I can finally tell my friends
that I've hit my first holy one!"
Victor E Smith,you do know that Hos is also a standup comedian.Might want to throw some material his way,ha.
This thread is enlightening after a bad day anywhere.'>}

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