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Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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LeBaube was whacked too...and now Jason is doomed, poor bastard!! ....I'm telling ya, there's a pattern here.

Christopher St. Clair enters the confessional box of a local Daytona Beach Church and says, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman who loves to play Disc Golf"

The priest asks, "Is that you, St. Clair?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well Chris, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not tell her name."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Christopher St. Clair, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."

Christopher walks back to his pew. His friend Brock Mahaffey slides over and whispers,

"What'd you get?"

"Five good leads," replies Chris.

OK...you had a bad hole...you shot a 5. You tell the scorekeeper 4. He writes down a 3. That's called improving your lie.

Question : What's the difference between a Golf Disc and a "G-Spot" ?

Answer : A man is willing to spend 10 minutes in the bush looking for a disc !!

lol

 

Jayson Jobe comes home after a terrible round of Disc golf, his worst ever.
He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."
The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

 

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him "You've been out golfing all day! Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken slob, and furthermore . . ."

Jobe sighs and whispers underneath his breathe as he sips the last of his beer, "It's started…."

 

 

Read it in the "Disc-Obits"

4 down and counting

Can you believe it.  Robert aka I3oo from River City (Debary Florida) Disc Golf course has decided to finally get married.

At the joyous event he is standing by his bride at the church in front of the Preacher.
The Bride looks around and sees I3oo's Disc Golf buddies there supporting him.
She leans over and whispers "Why do you and your buddies have your Disc Golf equipment with you ??" 
I3oo smiles and answers "This is not going to take all day is it ?"

Valerie Bradley from Saint Petersburg Florida was playing Disc Golf at her home course (Cliff Stevens) when she was met up with a buddy. 

Valerie says "Guess what ? I got a brand new set of Golf Discs for my man."

Her friend replied "That was a great trade...."

A reporter was interviewing Nathan Doss after a tournament in California.
He said, "Nate, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of Disc golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"
To which Nate replied, "The baskets are numbered!"

There was this guy who went Disc Golfing every Saturday and Sunday, it didn't matter what kind of weather it was. He was hooked, and would play through anything.
One Saturday he left the house early and headed for his local course, but it was so bitter cold that he decided wouldn't disc that day and went back home.
His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes and snuggled up behind his wife and said

"Terrible weather out there."

She replied, "Yeah, and can you believe my stupid husband went Disc Golfing."

 

 A golfer, playing a round by himself at the Tuskawilla course in Daytona Beach, is about to tee off, and Garry  runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
The Discer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

"It's a special Disc," replies Garry. "You can never lose it!"

"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you throw it into the water?"

"No problem," says Garry. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

"Well, what if you throw it into the woods?"

"Easy," says Garry. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

"No problem, sir, this Disc glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this Disc!"

Satisfied the golfer buys it. "Just one question," the new guy asks "Where did you get it?"

Garry smiles …….."I found it over there."

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