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The Community of Disc Golfers and About All Things Disc Golf

Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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Norbert from Port Orange and Terry from Edgewater were playing their home course at Tuscawilla, Daytona Beach Florida.

Norbert putted out and walked towards the next tee. As Terry sank his putt, Norbert suddenly jumped up, yelled out loud and dropped his pants. He had just got stung by a bee and got a nasty stinger on his ass. He desperately begged for Terry to get the stinger out.

The scene of a man kneeling next to his playing partner's bare ass was too much for the group playing behind the twosome.


The group raced up to the two Disc Golfers and asked a single question:
"What was the bet?"

Well, I played at the Sunday "Easter" Tuscawilla Course in Daytona today.  I was glad to see the major or main players there, and as well as people I have not seen before.  I would like to thank everyone for their patience and for trying to make my wife feel welcomed.  I didn't play well today.  The Course is still difficult for me. I was able to get two birdies and I owned the pad three times, but I kicked my own ass by throwing a nine a couple of times as well.  I think I shot 20 something over.

Jamie had said "What would St Peter say about that?"

That is a good question. 

Go to my main page and everyone can hear my response.

I'll just play with my Ding a ling.

Hope this works.  Video to one of the greatest songs ever made.

http://youtu.be/UaEC-lWSlmI

I think that I shall never see
a hazard rougher than an tree;

A tree by which my disc must fly
if in the basket it is to lie;

A tree which stands by that basket to guard,
and makes the shot extremely hard;

A tree whose leafy arms extend
to kill the mid range throw I send;

A tree that stands in silence there,
while angry disc golfers rave and swear.

Discs were made for fools like me
who cannot ever miss a tree.

I was walking on the beach when I came across a magic lamp.

I rubbed the lamp and a "genie" pops out.

The Genie says "Thank you for releasing me from that bottle.  But I can only give you one wish."

I think for a moment and say "I really want to visit Hawaii and I do not like to fly.  So my wish is for you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii."

The Genie responds with "Do you know how impossible that would be.  I can't do it.  You'll have to decide on another wish !!"

I think again and say "I wish that I can out play Jamie Ruane in Disc Golf."

The Genie sighs and says "How many lanes do you want on that bridge"

 

Best Post.........Ever!!

Top 10 reasons why you might be a DiscGolfAholic !!!

 

10        You quit the game forever, around twice a month!

09        While everyone is seeking shelter from the elements, you go out to play Disc Golf!

08        While driving by a great piece of land, you think to yourself “Man I could put in a great Course”!

07        You dreamt that you went to prison but still got conjugal visits with your discs!

06        You get a new beer coolie. And you have to try it out on the course!

05        You have to think for a couple of minutes when you are leaving your house to play Disc Golf, and your wife says “Come back here, I’m in the mood”!

04        Before you pick something up, you mark its position with a mini!

03        You ask the shopper ahead of you in the checkout line if you can play through!

02        You buy a Golf pull cart or jogging baby stroller and convert it into a Disc Golf Cart!

 

And the number one reason why you might be a DiscGolfAholic…….

 

You think you're skillful and everybody else is lucky!

Branton (The Phantom) is having serious trouble putting on the back nine at Debary's Monday Doubles, and complains: "I've got a case of the yips. I just can't putt anymore. I've lost my touch. It must be my nerves or maybe I am getting old !!!"

Duncan sarcastically replies "Or maybe it's the six-pack that you demolished on the front nine"

after taking a leak behind a tree just as our group was about to tee-off on # 4 , they where wait on me since i had the box . so as i heaed for my bag i told the group " i will need that sphincter to on this drive ."

Rick aka “Rescue” from Sonoma California has a week off and decides to play a round of Disc Golf every day.  First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front of him.  He sees that this is a woman and in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a very close match ensues. She happened to be a very talented golfer and wins their little competition on the last hole. He congratulates her in the parking lot then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning.

On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. "In fact," she says, "I'd like you to pull over so I can show you how much I appreciated everything." He pulls over, they kiss and she showed Rick how appreciative she really was.

The next morning he sees her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly peeved that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing a tight, competitive round of golf. Again she pips him at the last basket, again he drives her home and again she shows her appreciation.

This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a posh hotel.

Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this. Rick can't work out what the fuss is about but then she admits the reason. "You see," she tearfully sobs, "I'm a transvestite." Rick is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion. "I'm sorry," she repeats.

"You bastard," Rick screams, red in the face, "You cheating bastard. You've been playing off the red tees all week!!"

Saw this on another discussion.  The credit belongs to "Larry Mann I am" from Texas

 

 

 

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