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The Community of Disc Golfers and About All Things Disc Golf

Ladies and Gentlemen,

There has been so many serious discussions lately, that I am creating this one to relieve some tension. I love jokes, funny stories, and quotes. So use this post as a means of telling something funny and hopefully put a smile on other people's faces. I'll start things off..........

You know when you've reached the Masters when you body goes out more then you do.

or

What's my handicap?
* Driving and putting

or

"Yelling at your disc will not help you. Unless you do it when your opponent is putting."

or

"Golf and sex are about the only things I can enjoy without being good at."

or

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong disc"

or

“If I had driven the green and cleared the trees, it would’ve been a great shot.”

or

"I average three under. One under a tree; one under a bush; one under the water."


Now it's your turn. Put something funny, and we'll all be able to laugh.

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What side do I cut the grass on?

MY GUESS........  The outside or topside.

How do I get down from an elephant?

I looked this one up.  You don't, you get down from a duck.

Half point for  a correct answer ,nothing for  looking it up;>}Outside would be the answer...#2 Down is from a Goose.

My uncle might be able to answer the wooden leg>seeds.dill pikle if he was still walking above the dirt,not that he's walking below it either;>}

what can a lawyer and a goose do that a duck can't ?
they both can shove their bill up their a$$ !

Vic,

     Arent you from up North?

             Henry: I heard you cant get a blowjob up there anymore....

                 Vic: Oh, yeah?! Why is that?

                      Henry: Cause all you c*cksuckers moved down here!!

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing Disc Golf with your buddies again!".

O.K.  Who is this ?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a serious note.  Does this man have any bones in his body...

Look at this........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That hurts me just looking at it.........

Here is an example of this man's talent, click on the video............

[Preparing to confront Jamie “Rocshot” Ruane on the field of Debary, who has appeared in the form of a young woman after returning from the dead]

 

 

 

Branton "Phantom" Crain :

I thought Jamie was a man.

 

HENRY "MENACE" REID:

It's whatever it wants to be.

 

Victor “Daddy_Dragon”:

Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us!

 

HENRY "MENACE" REID:

Right!

 

Victor “Daddy_Dragon”:

Go get her, Henry!

[Henry gives Victor a put-off glance, then approaches Jamie]

 

HENRY "MENACE" REID:

Jamie the Rocshot Ruane? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the Debary City Disc Golf Course, County of Volusia and State of Florida, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension.

 

Victor “Daddy_Dragon”:

 [dryly] That oughtta do it. Thanks very much, Henry.

 

Jamie “Rocshot” Ruane:

Are you a DiscGolfersR.Us god?

[Henry looks at the others, who all nod yes.]

 

HENRY "MENACE" REID:

[hesitant] Uh...no.

 

Jamie “Rocshot” Ruane:

Then...DIIIIIIIIE!

[sends the Mortal Disc Golfers sprawling with painful lightning bolts]

 

Branton "Phantom" Crain :

Henry, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes!"

What movie am I spoofing ?????
 

An English school teacher was trying her first round of Disc Golf when she came across Norbert from DiscPlayerSports.

After bragging about himself, she asked him "Is the word spelt p-u-t  or  p-u-t-t?" 

"P-u-t-t is correct," Norbert replied............  

"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

oh crap , looks like were losing another one !

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