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A thread to post links to those News Worthy stories....that make you go Hmmmmmmm!?!?!? A place to share internet humor

Tags: News, Strange, Unusual

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Dad's probably thinking to himself...."That's my boy"
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota
asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.


Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the
old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter
was going to be like.


Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter
was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should
collect firewood to be prepared..


But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'


'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist
at the weather service responded.


So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.


A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'


'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to
be a very cold winter.'


The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.


Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'


'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'


'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.


The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting firewood like
crazy.'


Remember this whenever you get advice from a government official!

These
were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of
humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)




> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I
have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

>

> A: We import all plants
fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )



> A:Depends
how much you've been drinking.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I want to walk from Perth
to Sydney
- can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

>

> A: Sure, it's only three
thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can
you send me a list of them in Brisbane ,
Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)



> A: What did your last
slave die of?

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia
? ( USA )



> A:
A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .

> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not

> ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

>

> A: Face south and then
turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.

_________________________________________________

>

> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

> A:Why?
Just use your fingers like we do...

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )



> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is

> Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna
Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

> A: You are a British
politician, right?

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )



> A:
No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.

> Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who
can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )



> A: Rattlesnakes
live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

> All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia ,
but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

>

> A:
It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.

> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)



> A:
Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________



> Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

>

> A:
Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

>

> A:
Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
That is too funny, I'm glad they had a sense of humor about it. I think I would have had a hard time writing that stuff down if I was the web publisher.
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No crap, really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
Meeting God


A Fortune to Remember


It's Not My Job!!!


I wonder what people are basing that on other that just an answer of "1 to 10"

I'd be curious to know "why" they like those places.

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