PROBLEM WITH MY WIFE..........

O.K. Before anyone can add something funny to this discussion, My marriage is fine.  My wife likes to play Disc Golf (I think that she likes it because I like it), and plays in order to bond with me.  So what is the problem??  Is it that I do not want her to play??  No...  I have seen many guys playing and they leave their partner at home or whatever.  In fact I have been told that I am lucky, becuase their partners show no interest in Disc Golf.

My wife is not the athletic type.  And she has a hard time playing naturally.  She gets really frustrated and upset with herself because she feels like an anchor when playing.  We play every Monday with the Debary Florida group.  These fellas have been really cooperative when playing in her group.  We mostly play Doubles.  She can't compete in drives with the guys and I told her to practice her putts the most cause that is where the guys will need her the most.

So here is the problem.  I taught her the "X" step.  I taught her the backhand.  I taught her the putt.  But to me she is too damn tense.  She is like a Robot or stiff or mechanical in her routine.  She over thinks the steps instead of letting things flow naturally.  When I drive, approach, thumb my way out of the bushes, putt or whatever, I do it even without thinking.  It is natural to me.

She get down on herself because she can not throw far.  She downs herself because she throws too hard or soft on the approach.  As for putting, it is the same thing.  And if I try to teach her to thumb, tomahawk, forhand, hyzer, anhyzer (You know, the technques needed to get yourself out of trouble or to improve yourself by learning different styles), she gets really upset and shuts down.  I was hoping that playing around with other guys (Before anyone says anything, get your mind out of the gutter) would help.  Don't get me wrong.  She has improved.  But it is the same mistakes over and over and over again.  And this year she wants to compete in the "C" teir torny at our home course in June by "SunKing".  I just do not want her to enter and get pissed because of the above mentioned. 

 

Any Advice???????

[Steve West]

Your wife is playing, she wants to play more.

 

It's not a problem with your wife its a problem with you.  Let go.  Only teach her when she asks you a direct question.

 

Like you said, she's not athletic, she's not even a boy.  She'll never play "your" way.  She'll never improve as fast as you.  The important point is: There is no reason she needs to.

 

It took my wife 8 years to want to try a run-up.  But, disc golf is her favorite thing to do.

 

Step back, watch, make mental notes, answer her questions, but don't try to change her game - it's her game to change.

[harold king]

maybe she could start playing with woman groups,and let her pick things up from watching and playing with women..thier center of gravity is not same as ours..watch women players on youtube,get her a basket and let her become a good putting partner,

[Mark Cuban]

Don't give pointers or say you should have done this unless she asks . It is easier for her to learn from someone other than you  just be her moral support and ask the guys you play with to give her little tips here and there.

[Kory Olko]

Last year at the Tour Del Sol in Debary they had putting and driving clinics. My wife was able to pick up a few tips from them on her putting. I think she can take advice from others a lot better than taking it from me.

 

One thing I did with my wife is only give her certain drivers to use. I started her with a light weight Sidewinder, Teebird, and Shark. As she gets comfortable with those discs I add more, but she tends to stay with the 150 Champ Sidewinder.

 

Another option is to take her out to throw in field for practice. That way she can concentrate just on the approach and the throwing without worrying about scores or trees or anything else.

[Dookville]

Thats a tuff one brother......I gave up mountian biking, raquetball, softball, and host of other things cuz I didn't have the heart to tell my wife at the time that I couldn't meet my competitive needs because she was holding me back. Years later (20 years) she has asked why I don't do those things things anymore. By the grace of having the wisdom, comfort level, or just schere luck, i was able to tell her that I felt I was reaching a competetive level that was surpassing hers, and rather than leave her behind, I thought I would find something else we could do together. Her response was that I should have told her how I felt back then. She said we could have enjoyed our time together at the sport, and I could have gone off and spent some man time competing.

 

Now whether that is twenty years of wisdom talking on her part, or would she have felt the same way back then, I'm not sure. Good Luck

[Mark Janssen]

a bunch of good pointers here, I'll reinterate a few

- offer advice only when she asks, or at least let her know that she can ask you to stop the pointers

- simplify her game/type of throws

- lightweight discs

- practice in field

- don't put her in competitive situations

 

 

[Rescue]

Chances are she won't get pissed, but have fun instead. I bet with you, there is a comfort level. SO she feel fine venting in front of you. Plus she will be playing with other women, even though they may out play her. I bet she will enjoy it. Maybe pony up for some lessons for her or look for some local clinics for her to go to. If she wants your help give it, if not, let it be.

The other day I was helping my lady love prepare for a test. Half way through it, she got all pissed off and huffed off. Later she told me, that with me. She feels comfortable in doing this, but she would NEVER do that so somebody else lol!! So, maybe it's time to pass on the torch?

[steve sevonty]

Just treat her on the course like your friends wife, dont boss her around and have fun!

[Mr No Non-Sense]

Personally, I think its cool that she's even out there and trying!  I understand your deal with Mondays and the pressure, if she's not improving, so why not make a day for just you two and maybe another couple, so she wouldn't have to feel the pressure and tense up when playing with the guys on Mondays? Instead making it a couples deal and maybe team up boys vs girls, you know the women can help each other with criticism and not get upset.  Its like my brother's kids, they won't listen to their Dad, but if I tell them the exact same thing, they listen to their uncle.  Either way, I think you're in a win/win situation - good luck.

[Mark Cuban]

Look into some 130 class discs SERIOUSLY ! The DX Beast and Valk in the 130's are perfect

[Daddy_Dragon]

o.k.  I have to respond to this one.

Someone had told me in the past that the lowest weight allowed in a PDGA torny is 150 class.

If this is true wouldn't the 130 and below be illegal??

 

Does anyone know the ruling on this matter......................

 

 

Victor

[Mark Janssen]

being illegal for tournament play and casual are different animals