The Community of Disc Golfers and About All Things Disc Golf
O.K. Before anyone can add something funny to this discussion, My marriage is fine. My wife likes to play Disc Golf (I think that she likes it because I like it), and plays in order to bond with me. So what is the problem?? Is it that I do not want her to play?? No... I have seen many guys playing and they leave their partner at home or whatever. In fact I have been told that I am lucky, becuase their partners show no interest in Disc Golf.
My wife is not the athletic type. And she has a hard time playing naturally. She gets really frustrated and upset with herself because she feels like an anchor when playing. We play every Monday with the Debary Florida group. These fellas have been really cooperative when playing in her group. We mostly play Doubles. She can't compete in drives with the guys and I told her to practice her putts the most cause that is where the guys will need her the most.
So here is the problem. I taught her the "X" step. I taught her the backhand. I taught her the putt. But to me she is too damn tense. She is like a Robot or stiff or mechanical in her routine. She over thinks the steps instead of letting things flow naturally. When I drive, approach, thumb my way out of the bushes, putt or whatever, I do it even without thinking. It is natural to me.
She get down on herself because she can not throw far. She downs herself because she throws too hard or soft on the approach. As for putting, it is the same thing. And if I try to teach her to thumb, tomahawk, forhand, hyzer, anhyzer (You know, the technques needed to get yourself out of trouble or to improve yourself by learning different styles), she gets really upset and shuts down. I was hoping that playing around with other guys (Before anyone says anything, get your mind out of the gutter) would help. Don't get me wrong. She has improved. But it is the same mistakes over and over and over again. And this year she wants to compete in the "C" teir torny at our home course in June by "SunKing". I just do not want her to enter and get pissed because of the above mentioned.
There's no such thing as too light to be legal. The only limitation the PDGA places on discs is a maximum weight. Even the 7 gram Rocs Charlie Sheen is banging are PDGA legal. Oh wait, that's a different kind of rock, isn't it? Nevermind. :D
150 class is not a weight. It's a range. Like "regular" discs, 150 class only restricts the maximum weight of a disc (150 grams). There is no minimum.
Find a local pro that gives paid lessons and buy her a lesson or two. That way the advise given is not taken too personal and be more well taken. Make sure they give the lessons one on one and not in a group, and definitely without you being present.
I'm not saying your advise is or ever has been bad advise. Only that if it is instructed by someone else who she sees as a really good player, more of that advise may stick.
Good luck either way.
On Nascar dave's advice,give Hos a call since he's up around your area for those possible lessons.
Yep, Hosfield is on BetterFly.com and is giving lessons. I don't know how feasible that is for you, but it's worth a try.
Maybe playing competitively, doubles or whatever, isn't really the thing she needs right now. Does she get much time on the course or in the field by herself to work out the kinks with her game? Field work will probably benefit her a lot. I know it helps me. But, when it comes to getting myself out of trouble, it's just practice, practice, practice. That may help her get out of her head and let it flow more naturally. Right now, I'm thinking, thinking, thinking about every step to my throw b/c I'm trying to change form and it's messing me up!!! The best way to not think...muscle memory and that only will come with practice.
In addition, delivery of helpful information matters a lot. I know i like it when someone doesn't just tell me a bunch of stuff. The nicest way I've had a pro give me advice is when he said, "Do you want to hear some suggestions?".
Also, do you have a basket at home for her to work on putting? I know when I play doubles, the most I bring to the table is good putting for the team. Well, other than just landing safely on drives so my partner can go all out.
O.K. First things first. i am not complaining even though it may sound like it. I love my wife. I love the fact that she wants to bond with me doing something that I enjoy. And I love spending time with her. And she knows that there are two sides to me. One is the supportive, let's spend time together, and the other is my competive side that comes out during Tornys. We play together or in Doubles at our home course. And when I need to compete I take off by myself.
There have been many good pieces of advice. Finding a group of female for my wife to play with and against. Let others give her advice on improving. Her using lighter Discs (her favoriate is a 150 Teebird). For us to Couple up. Find a local pro. Use putting and driving clinics in tornys. Getting a practice basket at home. Going out and just playing or practicing by ourselves. The very first advice "It's not a problem with your wife, it's a problem with you".
I had taught my wife the basics. We have played recreationally. We have played competatively (Monday Doubles). We have played by ourselves and practiced the basics alone. I have tried to find women around here to play, no luck. There are no women's group for Disc Golf that I know of in my area. And hooking up with another couple. When we or I go out to the local courses, I see men. I do not see couples. I guess that I am a lucky man. Getting a practice basket for home.... I looked those things up, they are not cheap.
All in all. "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" What ?? Men and Women are different in a lot of things. I watch and support her and it hurts me to see her getting pissed, or frustrated, or confused. I try telling her to relax versus tense up. I let her play. When she asks for advice I give it. "Rescue" and "Steve West" said it best. I am too close to the situation. She gets frustrated with me and in turn I get frustrated with her.
I need to allow her to "VENT" and listen to her versus trying to fix and getting frustrated with her difficulties. If she really wants to improve versus bitch'n, I just have to remember what Steve wrote "It's her game to change"
I really appreciate everyone's advice, comments, concerns and desire to help in my situation.
I thank you all.