I attended mandatory diversity training today. It is important that a person in my position be diversity trained because my average day is spent alone in my office in the basement reading, summarizing and analyzing legal arguments. 90% of the phone calls I receive are wrong numbers. The other 10% are my wife and kids calling me to come home for lunch or to drive someone to ballet or karate. Dealing with the public or pretty much anyone other than my boss is just outside of my job description.
So I wheedled my way into today's diversity training session instead of the one I signed up for because I have a cold and was not going to get much legal analysis done today. Better have a mandatory wasted afternoon on a day that is looking wasted from the get go.
Diversity training was completely mysterious. They never really got around to telling us that we cannot be mean to people because of their weight, religion, gender, sexual orientation, race, handicap or religion, but you can be mean to them because of pretty much anything else. Instead we played this game where you had to pick who you wanted to be of the people being profiled on the wall, and they revealed one characteristic of the person in each phase of the game. In the last phase, pretty much anyone you wanted to be was gay, dying of a disease, on their way to jail or working for the mafia. Fortunately, all along I wanted to be the 45 year old auto worker because he sounded the most like a disc golfer, and it turned out he won the lottery! All I learned from this is that I really don't want to be gay, dying of a disease, on my way to jail or working for the mafia, but winning the lottery would be bonus.
Throughout the session I was attentive, polite and involved. And I was very diverse in what I did not say. Our diversity trainer kept asking various women in the room if they had taken the class before because they looked familiar. I kept resisting the urge to say, "I'm sure all these white chicks look the same to you. I have the same problem."