and three days sober now. I see things a bit clearer now. same old crap, different story.
I checked in to CPC millwood in Arlington but quickly went thru what Ive been thru before in the 8+ times Ive been in rehab/hospitals.
I realized that I am the only person that can keep myself sober. no god or group can do that but me.
I can play the same game Ive played before or tread a new path. but a familiar one.
I was sober for almost three years recently and went thru depression for the first time in sobriety.
in the past I would always reach for drugs or alcohol to ease whatever pain I thought my soul was feeling.
I can't really say anything bad about AA/NA because I learned a lot about myself and life from those groups.
I also learned a lot about "spirituality" and the difference between that and "religion"
anyways. thanks to all for the well wishes.
I actually played some disc golf right after I left. and also today and disc golf can be a way of spiritual healing in it's own way.
Trudge on my fellow disc golfers. whether the path is far ahead and the journey is the most important part instead of the destination is not for me to say.