Dealing with an "$#&*" in your group.

We have all been there. In a group, ready to play, excited about being on the course and looking forward to a good time. Only problem is "he's" in the group. You know that guy, he swears after every shot, the world is against him, garbage cans and tee markers fear him and he just seems to always make things a little uncomfortable for the whole group.

This can often be a touchy situation. Part of you says tell this joker to hit the road while another part says let's just play. Sadly i have been in this situation many times and have addressed it a few different ways. In the end i have found that leading by example is usually the best bet. I digress, first thing you have to do is slap the idiot who keeps inviting this guy!

Now when i say leading by example what i mean is... if something happens to me that would make "him" lose his cool I will point it out and make sure he sees my reaction. Say I step up to the tee, it's a drive i really need to pull off, score is close etc. And i drive it right into a tree, dead center. I just shake my head and say "looks like a long bird putt from there". Had i done what i wanted to do... thrown my bag into the woods and smashed "him" with the garbage can for working me all round. I would have only reinforced his theory that being aggressive is ok. Next I throw in the woods then make a crack like "anyone got breadcrumbs so i can find my way back?" or something like that. Trying to keep things light. Often after a few rounds they get the point or at least realize that you are a laid back group and like to play a smooth round.

When the happy go lucky approach doesn't work. The one liners like "take it easy mary" might get their attention. Sometimes it just gets them more frustrated.

Finally, the one on one. Pull them aside and blame someone else in the group for not liking their style. Say something like "hey man, joe was talking and he said that you are an idot and you're out of control and we shouldn't have you play anymore... I think he's crazy, you're a riot! but he asked me to say something, you know how it is."

If this doesn't work, he'll surely kick the crap out of joe. Then you can deny everything and the group will think he's crazy! You'll never see him again!

Seriously, If you really do have a big problem with someone talk to THEM about it. Be polite, let them know that you enjoy their company but sometimes when they get worked up it makes things a little tense in the group. If they are cool they will understand. If not they will be upset but you'll see where they stand and know not to have them around. Whatever you do don't talk about it to other people before you talk about it with them. Words get minced and things get taken out of context and next thing you know... friendships are hurt and you're getting the one on one talk from someone else. :(

[Mikey]

sounds good to me, i have always tried to keep a positive attitude and just play the jokester method. I always start with a gentle criticism of there previous throw and offer my help. Positive reinforcement is the key i think.

[Steve Belliveau]

It sounds like you golf in Florida.I've seen alot of this,and avoid some courses at popular times.

[Duh]

Good advice! It is best to be up front with someone no matter what the situation. Better to try to resolve things peacefully; hope you can get this guy simmered down a little.