To all the discos I've loved before,
I hope everyone is well. I haven't been at the course at all lately and feel like I need to explain myself. It's crazy how you can love something so much one day, and then hardly think about it the next. School, work and adopting my new family has taken a huge precedence where I used to place DG. I think about all of you and how much you still mean to me and how much I wish I saw you guys more often. I've started a new job as a full-time studio photographer and love every minute of it. I'm making the money I need for the future and we're on our way to purchasing our first home (hoping for early November 09'!). Needless to say, Andrew and I are doing very well.. (if you can keep it a secret, I think he's the one!) We still hope to travel a little more in 2009 and play tournaments, but as for playing in town - quite honestly, my bag hasn't moved since the beginning of June.
It's unfortunate that whenever I see anyone, the first thing they do is criticize my attendance. With school, and work alone I feel swamped, and with our music venue and preparation for the future... let's just say the free time I have is spent getting the sleep I need and trying hard to keep away from sickness due to exhaustion. Just cause I'm not of the course throwing doesn't mean I'm not in town and available for celebrations *wink wink, nudge nudge.* I'll always be just a phone call away and for most of you - I've been making those attempts.
In all of this realization I start to think about my past choices, in disc golf. There are so many things I wish I did differently. I wish I would have never worked for that certain disc golf company.. you all know. I loved meeting them, I loved meeting the people through them... but that divorce did a lot to me. Quite honestly - after getting as close to that family as I did, I learned exactly how it felt to have a divorce between parents. It took me a good year to finally get over it and move on. I always get constant reminders of my time with that company, in fact I have an advertisement glaring me in the face as I type. I get calls from the completely oblivious owner monthly... mostly asking me why I never call and why I'm not helping him run the website. Answer: I DON'T CARE... please absorb that! It's unfortunate. I learned so much from the previously stated's ex-wife. She taught me everything I know about credit, investing, and making the right choices for my future. He never gave her the credit she deserved.
I wish I never took the cash at that Gentlemen's club. That was a stupid mistake... but I really wanted to pay dad back. He wanted nothing more but to watch me compete, and because of school I could only play the pro weekend. I wasn't ready to play pro, and probably never will be.
I should have never gone to vinnie's cabin during the summer of 2007. And with that stated - I should have NEVER started any relationships, any relations, anything overtly sexual with any disc golfer. The very small handful seems so large in the disc golf world, and I honestly feel like any woman what has ever dated more than 2 golfers within her career is frowned upon.. and anytime they turn around to talk to a man a load of hearsay boils out from it. Ok, that rant it over.
I wish I would have taken even better advantage of my disc golf connections for vacations. I was looking at my bank account - and throughout my life I have spent $2,500 on hotels. I, Me, Sam, a la carte. That's a new computer that I could be using right now.
But on the other hand... I gained a lot through golf, a lot more than the losses.
I gained a group of individuals that I will never ever forget and will always cherish. Just to name a few:
(in order of introduction)
-Jeff Kennedy (righty)
-Cary Trotter (and his family and girlfriend)
-Tony & Iris
-Jason Fitzpatrick & Shiela
& - most recently Brian Wimmer (technically)
Let's be honest, these have all be very influential people in my life, people that in one way or another have improved me as a person. And I will thank them for that.
Another gift - the travel, woah man that travel! Disc Golf has taken me to almost every state in the US, an will eventually take me to the rest of them and different parts of the world! It's given me a place to vent, a place to think, a place to walk and really enjoy some inner city nature. I've had numerous conversations and built conversations with people just because of disc golf. In fact - my first meeting with the man I'm very much in love with was at a disc golf course. As were many other of my first dates during high school. It's funny - but I partially took my first dates there to have them scooped out... because ya'll were family to me, and if you didn't like them - no dice.
I remember a time in which I wouldn't even consider a college unless it had an 18 hole disc golf course with 15 miles of it. Wow, how things change. Even sitting here typing, looking around my room - I see a lack of disc golf memorabilia. I remember my wall full a discs, my collection of pressed flowers (all from disc golf courses), my never ending stack of golf books from the library - usually with fines because I never felt like returning them. My crumpled up little golfing notes always to be found at the bottom of my golf bag, or ruining a load of laundry. And last but not least, my jar of Ikea golf pencils I stole that summer. I still have the damn thing - it is also never ending and give me a constant reminder of how much of a Disc Deacon I was.
This note/blog/thing is getting rather winded. It started off as a plea and an update and turned into a mess of ramblings and lists... but isn't every work I ever put down on paper and actually care about end up like this?